Beaches Art Walk

Bored to death. Got so used to talking to J or going out during lunch that being here in the quiet with the rain clouds rolling in is...sad. I should have brought a bigger lunch so I wouldn't have 1/2 an hour to kill. Of course, I could always do extra work. heh. I'm going to write a lot...

Not an eventful weekend. Went out to a few places and also did stuff with the fam, like testing out the inflatable kayak in Dor's pool. ....yeah.
I'm at a housekeeping point of time. I massively cleaned out my entire room after college, and now I need to do the same. I waver between wanting to throw away everything (literally. Like, all keepsakes and books and decorations) and wanting to leave it all there, because, who really cares?

No, I really just hate cleaning.

Am still excited about the beaches art walk last Thursday. Amazing vibe. It was like, lacking the urban dirt feel of downtown and also the polished business-like feel, and instead felt more...I dunno. Friendly? Downtown can be friendly...but the Artistree was seriously friendly, open. We walk up the side looking at wall art, and then at the printing counter, this blonde girl starts chatting us up immediately about printing on tin foil and such. Nice, interesting. I guess she's just practicing good customer service, but it felt friendly. She reminded me of Heidi. We wandered down the other side until the owner himself came around and took us on a tour of their studios. I wasn't entirely sure they had studios, because, beyond a curtain, you can't see what's back there. But they do! This entire hallway with paintings on high ceilings, and then rooms of studio space. Wine, dine, paint? Excellent. Very cool. It really made me miss UCF art department. Or high school art department.

I think I'm at the place I was in after my first 2 years of college, when I had ignored art in favor of practical things and ended up really depressed over it. I wouldn't say I was happy afterwards, but life improved greatly. My life now would probably improve greatly if I started doing art again.

I just don't know what's WRONG with me. I never had this problem for 22 years of life. But for the past couple years, it's just really hard, overall, to create anything. I'll just stare at a canvas, or piece of paper. And think of some crappy ideas. But...I dunno. I think I want to. I really miss it. I better just do it then. Paint something, anything, and if I paint enough, something will be good enough for...the public, or for me.

I remember at the end of high school, I went back to MHS to deliver Mrs. D her commissioned painting - a canal scene in Venice - and she told me that I would be in my 40s when I did art again. You think you'll have time, but you don't. You get a job, and there goes your life.
It was the most depressing thing I'd ever heard. And I felt really incredulous. Like, yeah right, maybe some people, but not me! And then here I am.

The worst part is, it didn't even take a job. Summer of 08 before I even started working, I had all the time in the world and still didn't. Why am I broken?

Here is what I have to do outside of work this week (blah):
drycleaning.
alterations....grrr
sweep floors
go through closet
reorganize and put away all photo equipment and props
hang up painting/feathered masks
exercise
go through my entire credit union banking history
thank you notes

I'd so much rather meet up with someone for Happy Hour or figure drawing.

On another note, finally watched the first episode of Easy Fortune Happy Life. I was expecting a lot, because I like Chen Qiao En (from Fated to Love You!) and Blue Lan (the guy) is hot. And it looked cute. But I dunno. I hadn't realized Nai Nai's story involved being duped by the guy she loved. I mean seriously, he gives her this pocket watch and says he'll come back for her. He never comes back, and she holds onto the watch even when they need to pawn it for food...because she cares so much. Oh, and he had stolen her family's recipe, which has enabled him to live a filthy rich life. Wtf. What a wonderful guy! So worth cherishing his memory!! Puh. We'll see if evil grandson can redeem himself.

My mom is pressuring me to call Uncle J and see his opinion. Why am I reluctant?

I think I'll see if M and/or K wants to go to Artistree next month. Maybe Ocean 60 too. And this whole time, I'd thought it was @ Ponte Vedra!