Waxing Philosophical

FB should add an "LOL" option for statuses...and maybe a "wth?" option as well.

I'm so irritated today. I am just in a *mood* and I feel like screaming at someone. The Mad Tea Party situation normally does not get to me, but this week it has. I'm just short on patience and dissatisfied with my life and tired of being peaceable.
I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and at some point, I'm going to want to climb out of the rut but won't know where to go. Back to school is the smartest option. But I'm *still* sick of school. Given my work experiences post-college, I'm not sure education is even relevant to most positions now. Exceptions: engineering, nursing, upper-level medical. I've been on the employer side of the fence long enough to see how other things matter so much more.

I alternate in a bipolar way between feeling enthused and pleased with myself in this job, and feeling like a misfit/failure. Everything about this job goes against my nature. Here's my nature: introverted, doesn't care for most people, likes sweaters and being warm, avoids numbers. Here's this job: total opposite. And it's okay. I think it's healthy to challenge yourself, and I'm learning enough. My brain isn't rotting here. Personal growth is a given here. But...always a but. I think it's because I'm a Taurus.

Taurus is the most stubborn zodiac sign, because it's both fixed and earth. So we hate change, hate pressure. Like things slow, steady, comfortable. But we're also loyal and perservere (sp?). That's a conflicting combination of traits. Say you get in a situation you're not comfortable with, well you try to make it work no matter what. Never give up! etc etc. And that can be unhealthy. I've had that situation with my choice of university, with a job in high school, and with a long-running relationship. I let all 3 go on longer than I should. In the end, I was sane enough to walk away from 2 of the 3.

I dunno. I want to stay here. I just want other things too, and I can't have them. I wonder if life is ever about finding happiness, or if it really is just about meeting challenges and hardship and not giving up.

I could have used another 2 hours of sleep today.