The Longest Day

Finally home from work, and after a shower/typical attempt at glamming, I will be off to the Blue Moon Ball!!!

2009 was a busy year, but today was not a busy day. The majority of it was spent doing non-work things, like the sketch below.



Oh boredom.
That's a bow if you can't tell. And an ugly poof skirt dress I made up. I have this thing about ugly fashion that people wouldn't wear. It's just so fun. And then instead of studying employment law, I drew the book cover model. Oh well!

2010, please don't suck!

Killer Plants and the Yuppie Factor

Huh, I thought about not writing so many time-killing, pointless entries here, but extreme boredom always throws my plans. We have about a million cookies in the office and I've been eating them ALL; it's terrible. I had like 4 cookies this morning, and now I feel like I'm on drugs. It's very quiet, and I was trying to sit very still and study my employment law books, and all the while, my eyes feel jittery and I want to run up and down the hallway. This is not healthy for my blood sugar.

I fell asleep last night right after watching this movie with Zoey D---? and I think Mark Whalberg?... where everyone is randomly dying and running for their lives (ala War of the Worlds)- but it's the plants that are killing them. The plants, the plants!! Anyway, so I had this dream that basically mirrored the movie...

I was in this really long rustic house, and I had a kid with me. Not my kid, just some kid, and I was pulling her around by the hand cause we knew something was up. And there were other kids of various ages throughout the house. At one point, we thought it was one of the housemates (doing I dunno what, killing?) and we were lurking in his room with the lights off, and we heard him walk in...so we scurry for the closet!! And he finds us immediately. But it was okay. He was just creepy; he didn't really care. He was also a vampire. Maybe the one from that commercial. Then we're making our way to the end of the house, and no one knows what's going on. The last room at the end, an old ex-bf of mine, T, is randomly sitting there watching tv or something. We were not dating in this dream; I don't know what he was doing there. There's another kid in the room. And T is like, "I don't know who it is..." and his eyes are staring straight ahead glazed over at the tv. And then his eyes kind of shift, ala Wade in House of Wax, over to the side, without his head moving, and uck it was just the creepiest thing ever!!!

So we knew right then, because of his shifty eyes, that he was the killer, and he might have known that we knew. But you know how, when your life is threatened, you try to play it cool, or oblivious..b/c you don't want to make the killer act fast? And so you can buy more time? So I'm just like, "Oh okay.." and we wander out of the room trying not to run. And the kid with me was so well behaved. I didn't have to explain to her why we weren't running; she just got it.

It was very creepy. You can always see psychotic tendencies in the eyes in dreams.

******************

I do NOT want to be in the house Christmas Eve or much of Christmas Day. I better stock up on gas so I can drive around. This may be a good time for taking my likely-illegal urban garage pictures. I don't think anyone would be around to catch us. I don't know why there are rules against photographing structures anyway. It's kind of an after-the-fact rule.

The unnamed quality that bothers me, on a personal note, is the "yuppie" factor. Someone explained to me that this meant "Young Urban Professionals," but that's not exactly how I've heard it used. *You* know yuppies- in the 90s the guys would wear polos and khakis with a sweater over their shoulders, sipping wine and beer at the TPC, with their blonde yuppie girlfriends with fake tans.

I am not, will never be, and will never want to be yuppie. Therefore, the intersection of my life with such a factor is illogical and should be avoided. HA!

Waxing Philosophical

FB should add an "LOL" option for statuses...and maybe a "wth?" option as well.

I'm so irritated today. I am just in a *mood* and I feel like screaming at someone. The Mad Tea Party situation normally does not get to me, but this week it has. I'm just short on patience and dissatisfied with my life and tired of being peaceable.
I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and at some point, I'm going to want to climb out of the rut but won't know where to go. Back to school is the smartest option. But I'm *still* sick of school. Given my work experiences post-college, I'm not sure education is even relevant to most positions now. Exceptions: engineering, nursing, upper-level medical. I've been on the employer side of the fence long enough to see how other things matter so much more.

I alternate in a bipolar way between feeling enthused and pleased with myself in this job, and feeling like a misfit/failure. Everything about this job goes against my nature. Here's my nature: introverted, doesn't care for most people, likes sweaters and being warm, avoids numbers. Here's this job: total opposite. And it's okay. I think it's healthy to challenge yourself, and I'm learning enough. My brain isn't rotting here. Personal growth is a given here. But...always a but. I think it's because I'm a Taurus.

Taurus is the most stubborn zodiac sign, because it's both fixed and earth. So we hate change, hate pressure. Like things slow, steady, comfortable. But we're also loyal and perservere (sp?). That's a conflicting combination of traits. Say you get in a situation you're not comfortable with, well you try to make it work no matter what. Never give up! etc etc. And that can be unhealthy. I've had that situation with my choice of university, with a job in high school, and with a long-running relationship. I let all 3 go on longer than I should. In the end, I was sane enough to walk away from 2 of the 3.

I dunno. I want to stay here. I just want other things too, and I can't have them. I wonder if life is ever about finding happiness, or if it really is just about meeting challenges and hardship and not giving up.

I could have used another 2 hours of sleep today.

Dream Sketches

I'm feeling truly sour today. Nothing particularly bad even. Have someone crash into my car...again....did not start my week off well. How is it that you can go 7 + years driving without a single accident, then get hit twice in a 5 month period? This just proves that driving in downtown Jax is a deathtrap. Not that I'm hurt. Just...inconvenienced.

I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately b/c I had a string of them in the past week that I remember really vividly, which is rare. Why is this? Who knows. Anyhow I got bored this weekend in between cooking sessions and did some quick sketches so I wouldn't forget.

In one I remember cutting my hair really short, all choppy-like, and dying it pink. It looked grungy and amazing. I was SO excited, but I did it on impulse and instantly remembered I'd have to go back to work, and I can't have hair like that. What to do?!! I was immensely panicked.
It looked something like this:


Then I was in this huge room with massive rectangular pillars lining a walkway through the center, with weird curves in relief and water running down them. You couldn't really see the water until you got really close, and I walked up to one and put my hands and face in it, which is weird.

It was very dark and cooling. And then there were tons of people, and someone was there, and I asked him to grab me dinner from the gourmet buffet, and he brought back salad. Like..a huge plate of just lettuce. And I was really upset.


And then I (and someone else, dunno who) were running for our lives, and we sprinted so fast our feet weren't touching the ground, and we had to jump through these hoops and doors that were closing. We reached the end in time, I think, by slamming against the glass. There were doctors on the other side.

Then I had this other dream that I really have forgotten except for this part where a bunch of us were running around in odd clothing and I was with this guy that I knew...we paused and my dad steps out of this mirrored closet like a ghost holding a picture of a pink elephant with weird pink markings on it:

It was very weird, and I'm not sure what that's supposed to symbolize, but as crappy as this sketch is, that's pretty much exactly how it looked. Except my dad looks Mexican there or something. Bah.

I also had this dream involving inheriting an old mansion with a Spaceship-Earth-ish ride inside of it, but I didn't draw that one. I am so beyond exhausted. Dor made an orange cake for us, and I think she got the recipe from Blue Bamboo's owner. Go us! So lucky.

Pshhh MySpace

It's not meant for blogging anyway. I'm moving my drivel here, at least for now. We'll see if I get unlazy enough to figure this site out.

Went to the hospital last night after a very half-hearted Art Walk (and after work). Rain is just upsetting. Got to the hospital around 7 p.m. and the place was deserted. I hadn't figured on feeling so awkward. After all, I go to M hospital sometimes for work and meetings, so I'm not out of the medical loop....it's just different to go for a personal reason I guess. So all I knew was to go to Tower D and the room #. I stroll on back, past almost no one except a couple guys in scrubs, dripping wet from the rain everywhere, and eventually end up there, my high heels making all kinds of clacking. It doesn't matter where or when you go, patient rooms always smell like a mix of chicken soup and urine. I hate that environment. It feels exactly like it did all those years. I guess I haven't been in a hospital for family since I was...16? I'm so glad she was only there for 1 night. I stayed a couple hours, got home and had dinner by 10.

Today was cr-a-zy... *Sigh* In a good mood though. Cooked omelettes for the fam. So domestic. I want to wear my headband and go back to Bento this weekend. And try making a pie out of lemons.

My horoscope book says Taurus is one of the feminine zodiac signs. This also includes Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces. The others are masculine. All my family is a feminine sign. I wonder if feminine signs are supposed to match up with masculine ones...hrrmmm.

Time for bed. I'm exhausted like an old person...it's the blood and the stress. Pfhooh, Where's a cupcake when you need one?