My main problem in life is not getting my feelings hurt or not getting oil changes on time or drinking too much orange juice, etc., but instead having all these things I don't want to face for whatever reason that just fester under the mental surface and drive me crazy, so that when one (1) bad thing happens, I just completely lose it. It's the culmination of ALL these things stressing me out.
It's getting to be about time to deal with some of these. The most pressing are:
1) Getting (or not) my PHR
2) Studying for and taking the GRE
3) Picking a grad school program
4) Researching new cars to buy
5) Researching apartments to buy...actually not a good time for that
6) Getting a hair cut
7) Getting my bloodwork done
8) Calling my doctor because ignoring medical issues doesn't solve them
9) Doing art, esp. the RAM squares
10) Making an art website
11) Making an effort to meet people (not love interests, just people)
12) Cleaning my closet and drawers of clothes
13) Ironing the shirts that have been hanging up for 6 months
14) Finding a new dry cleaner
15) Transfering my car's title
16) Researching insurance changes
17) Writing my will
18) Dusting
19) Checking my other, abandoned email account
20) Running a defrag on my computer
F. I feel like I lack some kind of "care" toward life that would make me get on these things. You'd think it's just feeling depressed because that really drains your motivation to..you know..get up in the morning and everything else. But even in my times of delusional happiness I don't do these things. I just bask in the happiness because I know it's temporary.
Well.
One thing that used to be on that list - exercise. I have become exercised-obsessed. Ok, only in the past week, but still. I figure if I do 40-60 minutes of exercise EVERY DAY and monitor what I eat by cutting back on carbs/cheese, I will see noticable results in 4.5 months. The end of the year, that's my goal. Then I have MORE fitness goals for 2012 but let's see if I can commit to this first. I also went to Just Fitness for a tour and membership info. The month-to-month looks affordable but I may take a month to just DIY because if I can accomplish this w/o a gym, it will be cheaper and faster (less drive time).
Someone was like, "oh, you want to get fit to attract hot guys?" It's like, no...I'm thin enough, I attract guys, hot and otherwise. I'm not interested in attracting anyone if all of them just want to use me for sex..or they're crazy. I think it's 1 of the 2....anyway, this is for *me*.
I HAVE to be fit because I have things to accomplish. And not all of them are nice, but anyway. You think about something for 12 years...probably time to do something about it and make it happen. Just wait.
